The importance of setting boundaries and choosing yourself
Photography by Danielle Ann Rose @bydanielleannrose
This is one of my favourite posts from my Instagram account (@skyefellows). It still feels relevant so I thought it deserved a permanent place on Embracing Gemini, enjoy!
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The people in my life and the connections I have with them are all extremely important to me, I believe my purpose in this life has a lot to do with love, and as you can imagine, that has a lot to do with other people
It comes naturally for me to create deep, meaningful connections. I whole heartedly care and want to get to know you, for who you truly are. I spend a large amount of time thinking about the people in my life, how I can help them, how I can make them smile, and how I can add value to their lives, because they are a priority to me..
In saying that, I learnt the hard way that boundaries, standards and choosing yourself are all extremely important when it comes to friendship, connection and serving others. I was constantly feeling letdown, disappointed and under appreciated, because I had these subconscious expectations of people and situations in my life. It took me a long time to learn that not everyone has the same heart as me, that everyone prioritises and values different things and that’s okay
Learning to set standards and boundaries within my friendships didn’t come naturally for me, because it meant I had to put myself first and I thought that meant letting someone I cared about down, but life kept repeating itself until I finally realised, that my own mindset and well-being is important, and if I wanted to keep being there for the people I cared about, I had to look after myself first. How could I possibly give 100%, if mentally and emotionally I was feeling 5%?
Now I prioritise my own energy, making sure my headspace is in a balanced and healthy place, before trying to be there for others. Making sure my cup is full, so that it is the overflow, that I am sharing and that I’m not trying to pour from an empty cup. If it’s not something I whole heartedly want to do, I don’t have to, I get to choose
Friendships and relationships aren’t supposed to be hard, if I’m finding that someone isn’t respecting my boundaries, I let them know that, and if that’s not something they’re willing to do, then it’s okay for us to discontinue the friendship. If we don’t live up to each other’s standards, we get to decide if that’s something we want to work on, and if it’s not, we get to walk away
Here’s a few reminders:
Choosing something different doesn’t make you a bad friend
Respecting yourself enough to know when to take a step back and look after yourself is honourable
Standing in your power and letting someone know when they’ve crossed your boundaries is powerful
How you love yourself, is how you teach others to love you too
Do you feel comfortable setting boundaries or is that something you get to work on? Let me know in the comments. It’s definitely something I am continuously learning and improving at, and would love to hear your experiences
