The allowing process

Photography by Danielle Ann Rose @bydanielleannrose

The Allowing Process is something I learnt from coaches Alexi Panos and Preston Smiles, it’s a really beautiful technique that I’ve found extremely helpful for finding clarity in situations, releasing emotions and allowing anything that’s present

The simplest way I can explain this process is by saying, all you need to do is speak any words that come to mind, out loud. If you don’t want to say them out loud, it’s not essential but I believe it’s more effective when you do. Our words hold so much energy, and when we want to say something that we’re nervous about giving a voice to, it’s our vocal cords and jaw that are the final “stopping” point for our fear to block us from doing so. You know that feeling when you’re emotional and you feel that lump in your throat and your jaw clenches? That’s the physical manifestation of your emotions on their way up (and hopefully out). Giving that feeling a voice, and speaking through it, is the best way you’re going to release it, instead of letting that rising feeling silence you and suppressing it back down. If you’re in a situation where you can’t speak it out loud, you can say it in your mind or journal it instead

Here’s how it works: close your eyes, relax your jaw, and focus on your breathing. When you’re ready, start by saying “I’m allowing..” and continue on to say whatever comes to mind, keep repeating the words “I’m allowing” before every word or phrase. It might be an emotion, a situation, a specific person, something completely random, absolutely anything that comes to mind, just start with a word and see where it leads you, it doesn’t have to make sense, it’s all perfect

The Allowing Process is really about being present with, and allowing what is, so please don’t judge it, overthink it or try to control it, just be with what is and see what comes through

Here’s an example:

“I’m allowing frustrated”

“I’m allowing headache”

“I’m allowing tense shoulders”

“I’m allowing clenched jaw”

“I’m allowing tired”

“I’m allowing wanting rest”

“I’m allowing emotional”

“I’m allowing tears”

“I’m allowing it’s okay”

“I’m allowing I am safe”

“I’m allowing I'm sorry”

“I’m allowing I forgive myself”

“I’m allowing breath”

“I’m allowing rest”

“I’m allowing calm”

Keep the pace up, this helps to keep you in flow and limit the chances of your mind wanting to take over and control what happens. If you find yourself blanking, or having nothing to say, then allow those things and say “I’m allowing blank,” “I’m allowing nothing,” “I’m allowing empty.” Give yourself a chance to push past that. It definitely doesn’t have to be as structured as my example, that is just my way of showing how you can go from feeling frustrated to calm while using this technique

I love this process, leaning into what’s bothering me and getting to the bottom of why I’m feeling that way, helps me to process things better and somatically move them through my body, allowing whatever it is to complete its process

It can be so beautiful where your words take you, sometimes it’s to a place or realisation of something you didn’t know had affected you, or caused you trauma at the time it happened, or sometimes it can take you somewhere familiar that you’re very aware of and it’s just giving you another opportunity for healing and growth

The first time I ever did The Allowing Process, I went from a current situation that had been upsetting me, all the way back through childhood memories, through our family home, and back to primary school where I recovered a memory from second grade, and that’s when I realised what I was currently upset about was a recurring pattern, that had been replaying throughout my entire life and I had never realised until that moment. This was such a beautiful realisation for me, which lead me to have clearer self awareness, deeper conversations, and make active changes to my life

I highly recommend regularly checking in with yourself, using this process, or another one that works for you. It can be so healing and freeing to work through the things weighing us down

Please remember that I’m here if you have any questions, my inbox is always open