Change and growth
Photography by Danielle Ann Rose @bydanielleannrose
As we grow through life, change becomes inevitable and no amount of sentimental attachment or refusal to let go will stop that. This is something I learnt the hard way and can tell you first-hand that holding on too tight will hurt more than letting go ever could. If this resonates with you or is something you’ve struggled with before, I have a blog post about the gift of letting go that I think you’ll enjoy, but for today I want to speak more specifically about change and growth
Change and growth seem synonymous with one another, to grow and evolve we must embrace change and allow ourselves to expand what we believe is possible. Letting go of the past creates space for the future and if we aren’t willing to do that then we risk limiting ourselves to our present circumstances without finding out who we have the potential to become or create
This used to be one of my biggest challenges in life and sometimes still is, but one major awareness allowed me to shift my perspective and helped me move past my fear of change. Avoid making moods, habits and thoughts a part of your identity or personality, you’re allowed to change your mind as often as you want to but if you’ve made these things mean something about you as a person then you’ll have a difficult time detaching from them and moving forward with your life
Your interests, job and daily habits are lifestyle choices that you have the power to change at any time. If you make them part of your identity then if the day ever comes when you need to leave your job, shift your habits or find a new interest then you might feel as though you are losing part of yourself in that process, which isn’t the case. You have the power to adapt and thrive in any circumstance, you are an incredible, multifaceted human being who is allowed to try out as many new lifestyles as you could possibly dream of
Thoughts and emotions are supposed to be felt and expressed, not held onto as part of your personality. This was a huge wake-up call for me when I heard it for the first time from my coaches Preston Smiles and Alexi Panos. I had spent years believing the sadness I was experiencing defined me in some way and that I would feel that way forever, but once I realised it wasn’t part of who I was and that I needed to let that sadness out, I allowed myself to release it and finally felt peace. This is why I am so passionate about people expressing their emotions because I know how much it can affect our quality of life when we hold them in
If we choose to never let go of anything then we only get to experience that one version of ourselves, but if we allow ourselves to let go, move forward and try new things then we have the opportunity to expand our lives, know what else is out there for us and meet a new version of ourselves
Even if life was perfect and nothing ever changed, as humans we would probably get bored and start craving adventure, excitement and variety, so don’t restrict yourself from experimenting and seeing what life could be like outside of what’s familiar. If you decide you don’t enjoy the changes made, you can always return back to what you know, what you can’t do is relive your life if you have regrets in the end
The way I see this is that I could stay the same forever and maybe that would still be a very beautiful life, but if I have experienced and learned all there is to from this current version of me, then why wouldn’t I want to keep growing and expanding into the next version of me? If I know there’s more out there, why wouldn’t I take another step and continue to experience new and exciting avenues? I have already held this current reality, what’s stopping me from holding more? Why wouldn’t I want to learn and obtain all that there is for me? What if there’s so much more out there than I ever imagined? Why wouldn’t I want to keep stretching through my unlimited potential? Isn’t that what life is all about?
Humans are creatures of habit who are drawn to what’s familiar because we believe that is what will keep us safe and to some degree that’s true, but there comes a time when it starts to hinder our growth and we begin to miss opportunities because we’re afraid to take a leap. The unknown is only unknown until it’s familiar, then it becomes the new normal and it’ll be something else that is new and scary until it’s not anymore
Why not experience both? Why not experience all of it?
For example, I never used to wear shorts because I was self-conscious and didn’t want people to see the scars on my legs, plus I didn’t find them comfortable. Now, I don’t care at all if people see them and I choose shorts that fit the way I want them to and not ones that make me uncomfortable. Even though most of my life I always said “I don’t wear shorts,” that doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind and decide I actually do now. Not wearing shorts isn’t a personality trait that I was born with, I can choose something different whenever I want to
On a greater level, this relates to my depression. For the longest time what felt the most familiar to me was this feeling of emptiness and self-doubt, but now that I’ve worked through that, I feel optimistic, confident and capable. If I continued to identify with those feelings rather than choosing something different, I would have been stuck feeling that way for the rest of my life, but because I decided that was no longer the life I wanted to live, I got to set myself free
As we grow as humans, our interests, beliefs, awarenesses and habits will change, it would be unfortunate to limit our own growth by being too set in our ways to allow ourselves to evolve, unlearn, relearn and expand. There is something so incredibly beautiful about choice, choosing to empower yourself rather than standing in your own way is the kindest gift you could ever give yourself
How has your relationship with change been? If you have any tips or awarenesses around change and growth please share them with us in the comments
