Unconditional love and genuine connection

Photography by Danielle Ann Rose @bydanielleannrose

Two of the most important pillars in my life are unconditional love and genuine connection. I feel so strongly that these values are part of my purpose in life, to be and give love to such extreme depths, to show others that there is always more love to be shared and expressed, to keep my heart open to those I meet, no matter how briefly and be an example for others to know that being kind and building connection is a true gift that deeply enriches lives

Love in its purest form. That is how I view both unconditional love and genuine connection. To be open, honest and vulnerable with the person standing in front of me, without judgement or ulterior motives

I’ve had people ask me over the years how I can stay so open and trusting with new people after having others treat me poorly in the past and my honest answer to that is realising that one person’s actions shouldn’t cause me to be closed off towards another. Each new person I meet does not deserve to be held responsible for someone else’s hurtful actions. I take my lessons and learnings from each experience and adjust accordingly, I’m sure on a subconscious level there are ways that I’m holding back that I’m not fully aware of yet, but for the most part, I give each individual person the opportunity to be themselves and to show me who they are, without any preconceived ideas of who they will be and how they’ll show up

In a world, with dishonesty, selfishness and ego it can feel difficult to remain open and loving, but that is why it is so important to check in with yourself and decide what is true for you and what is actually yours to carry, and knowing how to allow what is not, to continue moving past you

Emotions must be allowed to flow freely otherwise, they can build up causing us to feel off balance and unable to share our joy with others, or even ourselves. So, to not end up jaded and resentful I make it a priority to give myself space to process and grieve lost friendships and connections. I wouldn’t want to form any new relationships just as a way to fill the empty space left behind by others, that is something I must find within myself first before moving forward

When I say unconditional love, I don’t mean that I allow others to mistreat me and call it love, the same way I don’t expect others to accept, poor behaviour of mine. I believe that calling someone forward when they are disrespecting your boundaries is a part of love, that there can be standards set within the realm of unconditional love and that there should always be space for growth. Even if we choose to go our separate ways and no longer be a part of each other’s lives, there can still be infinite amounts of love present, it is with that love that we know what is right for one another even if we ultimately choose to put space between us. Just because two people no longer want to spend time together does not mean there is an absence of love, sometimes the right thing is to let go and allowing that is an act of unconditional love

When we live our lives with our hearts wide open, allowing each person we meet to teach us, surprise us and learn with us, we create a beautifully natural energetic flow that allows us to feel content and at peace, even through the tough times

If we don’t allow people to meet our true authentic selves, we are limiting them from loving us at full capacity. When we don’t show up as who we really are, in hopes to protect ourselves from judgment and insecurity, we create a version of ourselves that doesn’t actually exist. So no matter how hard someone tries, they’ll never be able to truly connect and we may never fully feel their love because we didn’t give them access to who we really are

That’s not to say you have to give access to every single person you meet if you don’t feel safe or comfortable doing so, but if you’ve ever felt like your connections and relationships weren’t meaningful, genuine and full of depth then this may be your sign to open up your heart just that little bit further, to be proud of who you are inside and let the people close to you see you, for you

Something I value so deeply is presence. Not just having someone in my space, but that feeling when you both know you have each other’s full attention, empathy and understanding. When you both feel safe and comfortable enough to be your real, raw and authentic selves, knowing that you can speak about absolutely anything on your mind and it will be heard and respected, even if you don’t share the same views or opinions

The beautiful thing about a deeply genuine connection is that it lasts. You might not see or speak to someone for a long period of time but when you reunite, the strength of your bond is still present and it can feel like no time has passed at all. These are the friends you can call for support and you know they’d be there for you in a second and you’d do the same for them. These types of relationships are so incredibly special and something that truly makes life so wonderful. When we reflect back on our lives at the end, it’ll be the connections made and memories shared that we remember and appreciate most

Here are a few ways to form genuine connections with others:

Be yourself, your true self. Allow them to see you for who you really are, it will encourage them to do the same, creating a more open and honest connection

Get curious and excited to know them on a deeper level, ask questions and allow them to show you who they are past your first impressions or assumptions

Have meaningful conversations with them and actually listen to what they have to share with you so you can gain a better understanding of where they’re coming from and what they’ve been through

Ask for their perspective on things that are important to you, let them know that you value their opinions and respect what they have to say

Create personal jokes and remind them of enjoyable times you’ve shared together so they feel as though they are known and appreciated by you

Find out what their love languages are so you know exactly how to make sure they’re aware of how important they are to you, it’s easy to assume someone knows we care about them, but sometimes it’s not as clear as we may think. Make it a priority to let them know what they mean to you

Communicate honestly and build trust within the friendship. When you do the things you say you’ll do and show up for your friends it strengthens the bond between you

Friendships and relationships are our greatest teachers, each person that enters our lives does so for a reason, to help us share, learn and grow. Some are meant to be a part of our story for a long time, to experience a full life together, others are only meant to join for a chapter or two, to hold up mirrors so we can see where we get to evolve and change. All of it is beautiful and all of it is love

If someone doesn’t want to let you in and connect with you the same way you’d hoped, try not to take it personally, you never know where someone is at mentally or what they are going through, sometimes people just don’t have the capacity to open up to new people and that is not necessarily a reflection of you. This is why it’s really important to know yourself well, self-awareness is a great way to discern whether or not it is a projection of how they feel internally or something you get to work on for yourself

As I mentioned earlier, I believe loving someone unconditionally can also mean calling them forward on poor behaviour, the same goes for ourselves. Holding ourselves to a higher standard so we can grow into the person we have the potential of becoming. Self-development and inner work is the most loving gift I have ever given myself, I have more self-love, confidence and passion than ever before because I have a greater understanding of myself and what’s important to me, allowing me to connect deeper and more openly with everyone I meet

Having a genuine connection with someone is about showing vulnerability, heart to heart conversations and being present with each other’s emotions, if we are not comfortable doing those things with ourselves how can we expect to do so with another person. The same can be said about unconditional love, how can we ask someone to open their hearts to us and love without limitation, if we are unable to give ourselves that same devotion

If you desire to love and be loved without condition, to form genuine and authentic connections with others, you must give that to yourself first. You deserve an evergrowing love that knows no bounds and that starts with you…