Self-esteem

Photography by Danielle Ann Rose @bydanielleannrose

Put simply self-esteem is your own opinion of yourself, when you have healthy self-esteem you feel a strong sense of self-belief, knowing you are deserving of respect and capable of achieving anything you hope to. When you have low self-esteem you feel as though you have no value to contribute and believe you are not enough, just as you are (which simply is not true)

Having healthy self-esteem is essential for our overall well-being because what the mind hears it creates and if you are telling yourself that you are not good enough, useless and incapable it believes you and forms a reality that confirms that belief. So if you want to feel good about yourself and the life you are living, the best way to start is by changing the way you speak to yourself and choosing encouraging, uplifting and empowering words rather than limiting, unkind and disheartening ones

Confidence is different to self-esteem because someone may only be confident in one specific area of life but feel inadequate in others or someone could be putting on an act of confidence on the outside and be plagued with self-doubt on the inside

If you don’t have a healthy opinion of yourself right now, please know that image you have of yourself isn’t who you are. It does not determine your worth or define your potential. You have the ability to shift your current views, build greater self-esteem and form deeper self-love

After experiencing depression, low self-esteem and major self-doubt, for me, the key to strengthening my self-love was choosing to put myself first and prioritising self-development. I gained so much clarity and self-awareness just by getting curious and staying open to learning more about myself and the role I was playing in holding myself back. After taking full responsibility for how my own thoughts were directly impacting my life, I shifted my mindset, became more intentional with my language and started feeling empowered

If you’re constantly speaking to yourself in a negative way, putting yourself down and shaming yourself for how things turn out then you will continue to repeat that same cycle. It’s easy to get stuck in a loop of expecting things to go badly and feeling justified when they do

As Marisa Peer explains it:
”Your thoughts control your feelings,
your feelings control your actions,
your actions control your events,
and your events send you back to your thoughts”

If we can create a cycle of negative thoughts and negative events, we can just as easily create a cycle of positive thoughts and positive events too. When we change our thoughts, we change our lives, it really gets to be that simple

Whatever you say about yourself, becomes true so choose your words wisely. Start by being more mindful of the words that follow “I am,” you have the ability to take control of your own narrative. If you want to feel more confident then tell yourself “I am confident,” if you want to feel beautiful then tell yourself “I am beautiful,” if you want to feel capable of doing difficult things then tell yourself “I am capable of doing difficult things.” Don’t wait until you feel it to say it because if you’re in the habit of telling yourself discouraging things, you could be waiting a lifetime. You deserve to be empowered and you deserve to hear it from the only person who matters - yourself

Write down all the “I AM” statements you’d like to embody and place them around your house, in your car or even set them as your phone background anywhere you will see them, so your mind can absorb them and begin to believe them

If there is something you’ve been wanting to hear someone say to you, for you to feel valued, accepted and enough, say it to yourself. If there are needs you are waiting for someone else to meet for you to feel appreciated, worthy and loved, meet those needs for yourself. You have the power to create and uncreate any beliefs, habits, mindsets or patterns you want to, stop waiting for someone else to come in and do any of that for you. This is your life, take control of it

Saying mean things to yourself might seem like it’s not a big deal at first, but internally you’re grating away at your self-esteem which affects how you show up in the world every day, ultimately impacting the quality of your life

Now that you know how important it is, you owe it to yourself to be mindful of the words you are using to describe yourself and your life, even if it is just inside your head. Just because you think no one can hear you, doesn’t mean nobody is listening, your mind is listening. If you’re now realising how unkind you’ve been to yourself, forgive yourself and choose kindness moving forward

Learn to embrace your authentic self, people will always judge and have opinions, no matter what you do, so you may as well be yourself and do what makes you happy. If you place too much importance on other people’s opinions, you’ll get lost trying to become someone you’re not. Focus on pleasing yourself and doing what lights you up and soon you’ll see that other people’s judgements don’t mean a damn thing

It’s okay to slip up, don’t beat yourself up for it. Just notice it and break the pattern by saying something encouraging and supportive, it might feel strange at first but eventually, praise will become familiar and that’ll be your new pattern instead

Many people are in the habit of dismissing compliments, the next time someone is thanking you, praising you or complimenting you I want you to acknowledge it, receive their kind words and add another nice comment on top of theirs

For example:
If someone acknowledges and compliments your hard work
“Excellent work on today’s presentation”
You could say something along the lines of
“I appreciate you saying that, I’m really
proud of myself” or “Thank you, I worked really hard on this one”

This will build your self-esteem without you even realising it because your mind will hear how you’re speaking about yourself and naturally strengthen over time

There’s no need to dismiss their praise, you deserve to receive recognition and feel valued by others and by yourself as well, even if you have worked really hard on something and no one expresses that to you, express it to yourself. Be proud of who you are and embrace yourself wholeheartedly, the kinder you are to yourself the sweeter life will be

You are amazing, incredible, talented, capable, intelligent, beautiful, wonderful, valuable, deserving, appreciated and so much more

Please never forget that

Please never forget to tell yourself that