Express, don’t suppress
Photography by Danielle Ann Rose @bydanielleannrose
One of the greatest gifts I ever gave myself was the permission to be fully expressed. Fully expressed in who I am, what I believe in and also in my emotions. We live in a society where we’re taught that anger isn’t acceptable and crying is weak, but how can any of that be true when these are natural human responses? These emotions arise within us for a reason and ignoring them is only going to make things worse for us in the long run. When we suppress parts of who we are in hopes to distance ourselves from them, we push them deeper into our bodies and believe me, our bodies never forget. Ignoring them only gives them strength and power, which continues to grow until the day they find their own way out, which can sometimes look like illness and disease. This is why it’s so important to fully experience our emotions when they first come up
Practise processing and releasing the emotional energy in your body, from my experience there is always a sense of peace and clarity on the other side and my perspective on the situation can change. When we start thinking “this is helping me” instead of “this is hurting me” we begin to heal
I know I’ve said it before, but I promise you it’s effective - Primal screaming, the most powerful tool I’ve found for physically releasing hurt from my heart, body and mind. Don’t over think it, just let the emotions rise up and let out a powerful yell/scream, you might not even be aware of how much stress, hurt, anger or disappointment you’re carrying around, until it’s leaving
Another beautiful tool, that’s less intense is journalling. I’m sure you’ve heard this one a thousand times, and the reason for that is, it’s genuinely helpful. Something I’ve found that’s useful for me, is letter writing. I address a letter to the person I’m thinking of and let it all out, I express what’s on my mind/in my heart, explain how I feel they come into it, and my suggestions for moving forward, sign my name at the bottom and then never give it to them, I usually just burn it or delete it. Obviously if it’s healthy and beneficial for both of you to have that conversation, you could definitely give it to them, but what I’ve found most is that all I really needed was an outlet for self expression and didn’t actually require the other persons involvement for closure
Journalling prompts for moving through emotions:
What am I feeling right now and how long have I felt this way?
What triggers these emotions in me?
Where do I feel it in my body and what does it feel like?
What would I like to release in this moment?
I feel shame and guilt around:
What do I need in this moment?
The words I wish I could hear right now are:
If someone else came to me feeling this way, what advice and gentle reminders would I give them?
What I’m still not ready to accept is:
I forgive myself for:
What can I learn from this moving forward?
How am I feeling now that I’ve given myself time to be with what is?
I highly recommend repeating the ho'oponopono prayer when allowing yourself the time and space to move through your emotions, and/or forgiveness with yourself and others
Ho'oponopono prayer: “I'm sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.”
I mention forgiveness of ourselves and others because as humans we tend to get caught up in judging and blaming others instead of taking responsibility, we don’t like being wrong, and are quick to defend ourselves. A lot of the time we can’t clearly see that we could be projecting our own insecurities and impulses onto someone else. Most of us don’t like admitting when we’re wrong, so we point out and criticise other peoples flaws, while never acknowledging our own. Just because we are “good” people doesn’t mean we don’t have areas in our lives that we can work on and be better at, this is why our ego can be a dangerous thing and why introspection is essential if we want to grow and evolve as human beings. Our egos are there to protect us, but sometimes they do the opposite, and that’s where self reflection and self awareness comes in
You might have heard people talking about “shadow work”. Shadow work is essentially the process of looking directly at the parts of you that you’re ashamed of, or denying and finding ways to come to peace with them. I know it probably sounds scary, because no-one really wants to admit that they have traits that don’t line up with their “identity” but it’s honestly the most freeing and liberating feeling, to look straight into these parts of you that you’re ashamed of and saying “I see you, and I accept you”. When we look at these things face to face and speak about them out loud, they lose power. Exploring these aspects of yourself can lead to greater self respect, a deeper level of authenticity, and raise your vibration, which will inevitably help you create a more fulfilling life
The important thing is not to judge ourselves or make ourselves wrong when feeling and working through these emotions, because they aren’t bad, they aren’t anything to be embarrassed of or feel guilty about, they are beautiful and a completely normal part of the human experience. These “darker” emotions, the “shadow”, they aren’t you, they aren’t your identity, they’re just energy, energy that you get to move. It might seem easier to suppress and ignore it all, but I promise you’ll save yourself a lot of stress and hurt overall by facing off with it and accepting it for what it is, when it’s present. So please honour yourself by choosing yourself and your healing
If you choose to implement any of these tools, I’d love to hear your experiences, let me know your favourites in the comments
