The gift of letting go
Photography by Danielle Ann Rose @bydanielleannrose
Being an extremely sentimental person I know the feeling all too well, the feeling of not wanting to let go of something because it means a lot to you. Whether it be something nostalgic from childhood, a job it’s time to leave or a friendship we’ve outgrown, letting go of what we once loved and enjoyed can be incredibly difficult, but when we know it’s time to part ways, holding on can cause more hurt than letting go ever would
Not only do our belongings take up physical space in our homes, but they also take up mental and energetic space within us. That’s why our minds can feel cluttered as a result of a messy house. Our environment directly affects our quality of life, which is why so many people choose to clean their surroundings when feeling stressed or upset because not only is it a distraction but it’s also an effective way to clear the mind and feel refreshed. Especially when it comes to objects that cause an emotional response, having something in your house that brings forward triggering memories is probably not the best way to heal and move on, even just having too much stuff can cause someone to feel overwhelmed and they might not even realise that’s what’s impacting them. So, next time you’re cleaning your space I invite you to check in with how your belongings truly make you feel and if it’s all too much I recommend letting some of it go to a new home
Something that assists me in letting go of belongings that I have owned for a long time or have sentimental value, that I know it’s time to part ways with is; I thank it and hug it before letting it go. This allows me to feel like I’m honouring the significance of its time in my life and releasing it from my space without guilt or sadness, happily sending it off to its new home while creating space in my life for what’s next
Holding onto grudges, resentment and trauma is emotionally exhausting and we can begin to view life through the lens of the hurt we’ve experienced. Sometimes we don’t even realise we’re doing so because we become accustomed to this jaded worldview, the trouble with this way of living is that we end up hurting ourselves more than the other person ever did because wishing pain or revenge on another is like drinking poison and hoping that it kills them, we are only harming ourselves by holding onto such bitterness
Even when we think we’ve moved on, it can still live in the back of our minds and deep within our hearts, joining us in every new connection we make. If we don’t address it, find closure and heal ourselves, we could be carrying this heaviness around with us for the rest of our lives
It’s important to remember that it’s not yours to carry, their behaviour is their own responsibility, not yours. The way they treated you, is due to their own past hurt, it is not something you need to take on board and carry with you through your life. Whoever you meet next deserves to know the real you and experience your full authentic heart, don’t let someone else’s past hurt, ruin your future
Sometimes we feel as though we need to stay because we’ve already invested so much time, love and energy into the relationship, job or project but if something isn’t working out, it’s perfectly okay to walk away and choose something different
We cannot change another person, not their values, personality or motivations, even if we are coming from a kind and loving place if they are not ready or willing to look within and grow as a person, you cannot make them do so. It has to be their self-awareness and their decision to choose change, to choose themselves. So cut your losses now, instead of investing any more of your time, love and energy
It’s human nature not to want change because that can cause us to feel unsafe, we create a comfort zone for ourselves and stepping outside of that can be scary. No wonder so many people choose to stay in jobs and relationships far longer than they want to because their fear of the unknown far outweighs the discomfort in their current situation. However, what’s important to remember is that when we finally do choose to let go and move forward we create space for so much magic to enter our lives
As I mentioned earlier, I know first-hand what it’s like to not want to let go, and sometimes we truly just aren’t ready yet, though there is definitely a difference between not being ready and not being willing. When something is no longer serving you, or holding you back in life, you can feel it. Intuitively, you know it’s time to let go and move on, take that feeling and consider it an exciting opportunity to find out what else is possible
The same can be said about “the good old days,” if we continue to live in the past and tell ourselves life will never be as good as that again, we limit anything else from being true. Whether that be a specific age, a lost relationship or just a really beautiful memory, you get to be open to what else is possible. How could you ever create more in your life if you believe the best has already been and gone? It’s so easy to romanticize the past, to look back only remembering the good, but it’s important not to allow ourselves to get stuck there. No matter how beautiful the past might have been, don’t neglect the present moment
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt throughout my self-development journey, that helped me to allow and let go is; not to place my importance or identity in things outside of myself. Whether that be my relationship, career or belongings, I remind myself that I am and always will be okay with or without these things because they are not me. If I were to lose them today, I would still be who I am and even though I may miss or even grieve them, I would still live a full and rich life after they’re gone
There’s an analogy that perfectly encapsulates how it feels when “the pain of holding on is worse than the pain of letting go.” Imagine the thing you don’t want to let go of is hanging by a rope and you feel it start to slip. The tighter you hold on, the more painful it feels and keeps burning your hand more and more, right up until the moment you realise you can’t keep holding on and drop the rope, but even though you’ve finally released your grip, your hands are cut, bruised and burned. The healing process will now take so much longer than if you’d just let go of the rope as soon as you realised it was slipping. The tighter we hold onto something that is not destined for us, the more pain it will cause and the longer it will take to heal
There’s a beautiful gift in finally letting go of something, whether it be physical belongings, a job we’ve outgrown, a friendship or relationship that’s run its course, we create space for more, we signal to the universe that we are ready for what’s to come and we allow whatever is next to make its way to us
Letting go can seem like the hardest thing in the world, but once you’ve done it you’ll ask yourself why you hadn’t done it sooner. It’s not until we eventually let go that we come to realise we’ve been living life as if we’d been trudging through thick mud instead of walking freely on dry land
When you allow yourself to view life as something that is ever moving, it’s easy to see how holding onto something that wants to continue drifting past you is going to interrupt the natural, energetic flow of things. Nothing is meant to be stuck stagnant, at least not for long, so when something is telling you it wants to keep moving I think it’s a safe bet to assume it’s for the best you allow it to go
There is so much beauty and excitement in the new beginnings created when we step away from what no longer serves us, so give yourself the gift of letting go
