Love languages
Photography by Danielle Ann Rose @bydanielleannrose
Love can be difficult to navigate and understand, especially when everyone has a different way of giving and receiving love. The concept of the five love languages, pioneered by Dr. Gary Chapman, has revolutionised our understanding of how humans feel and express love
You could be showing love to the people in your life the best way you know how and they still not be able to feel it fully. This could be because they receive love in a different way than how you give it. This miscommunication of love can cause a relationship breakdown and disconnect. Though, that can be avoided when we learn to understand and respect the other person’s love language
The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch. You can take the love language quiz to find out what your primary love language is
Words of affirmation: This love language is all about expressing affection and love through spoken and written words. If the person you love finds joy and fulfilment in being showered with words of appreciation and adoration, lean into that and make sure to encourage them, compliment them and write them love notes. This can immensely boost their confidence and strengthen your connection because not everyone has the ability to articulate their emotions to another person, especially not when it comes to love
Acts of Service: The idea behind this love language is that actions speak louder than words. Those who gravitate towards this want you to express your love for them by making their life a little easier or going out of your way to do something nice for them. By putting in more energy and effort, you can show them just how committed you are to loving them and being a part of their life
Receiving gifts: Those who resonate most with this love language want to feel thought about and cared for. It’s not really about the material value of the gifts they are receiving, but the thought and effort that went into choosing and presenting them. These gestures of love are seen as symbols of affection, care, and appreciation. Whether it's a small token or a grand gesture, receiving gifts makes them feel cherished and loved in a tangible way
Quality time: This love language reflects the importance of being present with the ones you love. Being able to share your undivided attention with someone, shows them just how much they mean to you. If you know someone who identifies with this love language, remember to prioritise meaningful one-on-one time, deep conversation and creating memories together. Being fully present and in the moment shows commitment, love and care
Physical touch: This may be the most common love language of all because of its diverse relevance to love. From the gentle, nurturing touch that helps us feel safe, to a romantic, intimate touch that makes us feel desired. Simple gestures like holding hands while walking, a touch on the arm mid-conversation or hugging hello and goodbye can go a long way with someone who resonates with this love language because all of it is a powerful indication of love and affection
Most people will identify with more than one, if not all of them, but ultimately there will be one that resonates more than all the others. Figuring out which one that may be, for each of you, is an essential component of a successful relationship. Whether that be your romantic relationship, your friendships or your connections with family members, everyone wants to feel special, thought of and loved
Understanding how someone else wants to be loved rather than loving them the way you want to be loved, shows them that you pay attention, care about their feelings and want them to receive love to its fullest extent, even if it’s not through the ways that are most important to you
In saying that, each person’s love language should be present and respected. It should be a two-way street with a balanced amount of giving and receiving. Where you both put in the energy to understand where the other is coming from and actively choose what makes both people feel seen, heard and loved
If someone we love’s emotional needs are not being met, it is crucial that we acknowledge that and do what is necessary to change that. If it is us, whose emotional needs are not being met it is essential to effectively communicate that. Others cannot read our minds, nor should they have to assume or guess how we wish to be loved. It is empowering to speak up and share what is important to us and how we want to be loved, should be important to us
If you feel as though you have a strong understanding and healthy practice of the love languages within your relationships, then I encourage you to look into the apology languages next. You can take the apology language quiz to find out what your primary apology language is
Learning more about how the people you care about want to be apologised to, can assist you in resolving tension and healing hurting connections, allowing you to move forward, together
By acknowledging and actively practising the appropriate love and apology languages, we can create lasting impressions on the lives of those we care about, nourishing their emotional well-being and promoting healthy and harmonious connections
Relationships of any kind can be tough and it’s unrealistic to believe that things are always going to be perfect, however, building your relationships on a solid foundation is the key to surviving any difficulties you encounter, together. It’s up to you both to invest in yourselves and your connection
Everyone deserves to be shown love to its full capacity
